Male Cougars are Old Wolves

When it comes to the older woman with a younger man, especially celebrities the world literally goes viral with the ridiculous ‘shock’ of the ‘age difference’, like with my featured image of Kylie and Andres, this difference was only 10 years; something similar with a man being only 10 years older, would not even make the news at all!  As for the ‘Cougar’ term well I  believe that it’s hypocritical, when there is no such term for a male doing the same thing, why do they feel the need to ‘label’ women in this way is beyond me. They should refer to men perhaps as a pack of ‘grey wolves’, especially when their age gap of preferred women’s age can be as great and more like 30 to 40 years and entirely gross… I might say!

Australia doesn’t dodge the bullet of hypocrisy either, I was a member of a dating site once (yes, past tense lol) and had been for a while, I’ll give you two examples of the most ridiculous situations I came across on this topic.

  1. The first was that I had been communicating with a guy for quite a time, when we decided to meet up as it was quite a distance we hadn’t rushed to the idea of meeting beforehand.  Well, we had set the time and place and then I get a message from him at practically the last minute “would you like another picture of me”? While I was a bit confused, I said “Ok”, with which he replied “Let’s forget about it then”… Hilarious right? In his online picture he was standing there with a hat and sunglasses, so yep… I guess he was bald and/or not very confident!
  2. This one is even more on topic: This particular dating site had a ‘Social Event’ for various areas on an ongoing basis, I’d never actually checked it out at the link. I go and click on that link at some stage.. and to my absolute HORROR there it states the age groups for women and men DIFFERENTLY for each event, for example (it was a long time ago) something like Event 1: for Women 22 to 35 years old and Men 35 to 45 years old… Yuck!!! and how ‘off’, needless to say, I even  dumped my membership immediately after reading this.

The most intriguing thing I realized very quickly was that with the male profiles, how many had listed their age ‘preferences’  maximum usually, as much as 10 years younger than themselves! The minimum you may ask… usually none or 20. lol Are they that delusional to think that if a celebrity can do it so can I? Also read the funniest comment just now, it went:

“I haven’t found a solution for this. How does a 56 year old man find a good younger woman that would be interested in marriage and willing to have children by him? She would need to be 36 to 38. Most good sites line me up with the 50 year olds and most 36 year olds tend to think I’m a dirty old man.  I know that such a person exists but can’t find a good avenue to find her. I am fairly well to do and well educated”. Have a giggle but he did get some good advice like: “………Next, since you can’t convince someone to date an older man, stop trying. To find out who IS interested…….”

If I could I would tell him… well shucks, I guess you left it a little late to have kids, and you should probably have thought about it earlier in life, if it was important to you. As most guys run around ‘sowing their wild oats’… such a stupid phrase, I know and very old fashioned, but I really didn’t know how else to ‘put it’ politely enough! So yes, they are all out for the short / casual or no commitment type of relationships, which as they get older kind of ‘blows up in their face’, so to speak! 

It’s a common cliche that older men chase much younger women, but charts from the book “Dataclysm” provide real evidence that men at every age are consistently most attracted to women in their early 20s.

“Dataclysm” author and OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder uses numbers from the dating site to show how women and men differ in the ages of the people they’re attracted to.

Men, regardless of their age, tend to say women in their early 20s look best, while women are most attracted to men their own age.

Chart of older guy / young woman

See more of the original story at The Australian Business Insider

The “sexual invisibility” felt by many older men is really about becoming less attractive to young women. For too many straight men, it seems, the sexual validation of their female peers is less ego-soothing than the kind that they believe can only come from much younger women.  Men fight the “slow slide into invisibility” with frantic denial, a denial that manifests itself in a compulsive need to pursue women substantially younger than themselves, all the while pleading to be seen as atypical for their age.

Related Articles:

Article at The Mirror UK on Celebrity Women and Younger Men

WordPress Article: “The List of Male Privileges” (another viewpoint)

 The Guy’s Guide to Feminism


Sexism Still Exists

Unfortunately, sexism still exists – and there are some examples of casual sexism you should make yourself aware of. We women have made some huge leaps in the last few decades – we’re on a ‘somewhat’ more equal footing to men although there’s a huge way to go yet. Some of us have been embarking on high-powered, high-flying careers, others find it harder to crack the ‘male dominated’ careers.  In sales and marketing in Australia I can tell you now, that there are some Sales Representative / Account Manager roles, that as a woman you’ll just never get. (I hesitate to ‘name company names’ lol) A few for example though… DO love to give their flashy company cars to men, with the striking green V.. or the world renowned ‘red n white’ swirl!! They’ll never let a female ‘at it’ ha!

Do most people recognize sexism in their daily lives? And what does it take to get them to shake their sexist beliefs?

In a study titled “Seeing the Unseen” psychologists Janet Swim of Pennsylvania State University and Julia Becker of Philipps University Marburg, Germany, set out to answer these questions.

Over the course of three separate, seven-day-long trials, Swim and Becker asked 120 college undergraduates (82 women and 38 men, ranging from 18 to 26 years old, some from the U.S., some from Germany) to record in a journal sexist comments they encountered on a daily basis. According to Swim, she and Becker hoped to determine whether forcing people to pay attention to less obvious forms of sexism could decrease their endorsement of sexist beliefs.

During the trials, subjects were instructed to note instances of sexist behavior toward women, ranging from unwanted sexual attention to blatantly sexist jokes and derogatory comments.

They were also asked to record subtler actions that many would consider harmless: men calling women “girls, ” complimenting them on stereotypically feminine behavior and sheltering them from more “masculine” tasks. Swim and Becker described this less obvious sexism to participants as “benevolent sexism,” a term coined by psychologists Peter Glick and Susan Fiske in a 1996 study to refer to “a paternalistic attitude towards women that idealizes them affectionately,” Glick told The Huffington Post.

On average, subjects recorded two derogatory terms, two sexist comments, 1.5 expressions of negative beliefs about women and 1.5 expressions of seemingly positive but in fact sexist thoughts about women each week. Swim recalled that one female participant reported a complete stranger had walked up to her in a laundromat and asked if she would fold his laundry because she’d be better at it.

This kind of sexism is “ambiguous,” Swim said, and “people don’t know if they’re kidding, so we discount them one after another.”

“If you document it and are confronted by a group of instances of sexism, then people start to see the unseen,” she added.

The prevalence of sexism — benevolent or hostile — was not the study’s primary focus, nor its major reveal. The more significant finding had to do with how men and women’s beliefs about sexism changed after they became aware of its prevalence. In addition to asking participants to record instances of sexism, researchers also evaluated the degree to which subjects tolerated sexist behavior.

Researchers found that after recording the sexist incidents they observed, women were more likely to deem the behavior less acceptable. Men, on the other hand, continued to endorse sexist behavior even after becoming more conscious of it.

But when asked to empathize with the female targets of specific sexist incidents, male participants were less likely to sanction blatant sexism.  Continue Reading at Huffington Post

Examples of Common Sexism You Should Know